This is my 13th entry in my series on the word “let” in the Bible.

Matthew 19:6. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

We’ve heard this scripture at weddings, and it’s become something of a concluding verse, signaling that we’re near the end of the ceremony. Its position there means that we often don’t pay the attention to it that it deserves. It’s not a blessing scripture, like Number 6:24-26 (“The Lord bless you and Keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you…”).

The first part of Matthew 19:6 is a statement of profound truth that describes the creation of a new spiritual reality that’s beyond our understanding. The second part is an exhortation to not allow that new spiritual reality to be changed.

I’m not addressing here the very real reasons that can arise for ending a marriage: abuse, adultery, etc. These are cases where the Lord allows the separation this verse addresses. The verse says that the Lord Himself has joined two people together, and that man should not allow them to be separated.

Anyone who has been married for a while is aware of the forces that can pull people apart. What the Lord is saying here is not to let those forces have their way. As strong as those forces may sometimes be, the greater reality is that since the Lord Himself has joined two people together, there is a bond He has put in that “one flesh” that is greater than the forces that may array against it. That strength is why we can take a spiritual stand and simply not allow man to separate us.

“Man” may give many reasons why what God has joined together should be separated. How many times have we heard “irreconcilable differences” as a legal foundation for divorce? Yes, abuse and serial adultery can create irreconcilable differences, but that should be the exception. “We’ve grown apart” or “we aren’t in love anymore” or “we’re going in two separate directions” are reasons for prayer, steadfastness, and counseling, not divorce. If we’re disciples of Jesus, we need to face head-on those things that are working to break up what the Lord has united.

The bottom line is that we do not need to “let” these worldly forces have their way in our marriages. It’s within our power in Christ to not allow these dividing powers to have their way. If we look at the forces dividing us, they can seem monumental and impossible to overcome. But if our eyes turn to the incredible, mighty, powerful, and prevailing unity that God has created in a marriage, then we can see that we are in a solid position to “not let” the opposing forces win.

There are many reasons why this might be hard, but this is a good time to refer to a small booklet that I read many years ago about the enemies of marriage. Here is what this great and experienced man finally concluded: The greatest enemy of marriage is selfishness. Now that both confused and upset me when I first read that. Years later, I see its great truth.

As we jokingly say today about many other issues, the struggle is real. It can take incredible work to hold our ground in the Spirit and not “let” man separate what God Himself has joined. I John 4:4 reminds us that “he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” In that same way, the bond God creates in marriage is stronger than any demonic forces coming against it.

The strength of this bond far exceeds the power of our wedding vows, as powerful as they should be in keeping our marriages strong. When problems in a marriage seem unsurmountable, we need to remember that we don’t need to let the sin of this world and the weaknesses of our flesh destroy the rock-like solidity of the unity that He created when we said, “I do.”